How Can Upbringing Affect Our Relationship With Money?

Our relationship with money doesn’t appear out of nowhere—it begins in childhood. The way we saw our parents handle money, the conversations (or lack of them) about finances, and the lessons we absorbed growing up all play a critical role in shaping our financial habits, beliefs, and decisions as adults.

In this blog, I’ll explore how upbringing influences our relationship with money and why understanding this connection is key to transforming your financial mindset.

The Impact of Early Experiences

Our early experiences with money shape how we think, feel, and act toward finances. Whether it’s how our parents spent, saved, or spoke about money, these behaviors create a blueprint for our future financial decisions.

1. Modeling Behavior
   Children often mimic their parents’ attitudes toward money. If your parents were savers, you might lean toward frugality. If they were spenders, you might adopt a more carefree approach.
2. Emotional Cues
   The emotions tied to money in childhood—whether it was a source of stress, pride, or secrecy—often linger into adulthood. For example, growing up in a household where money was scarce may lead to anxiety about finances later in life.
3. Silent Lessons
   Even when money wasn’t openly discussed, children pick up on subtle cues. Seeing a parent avoid bills or argue about spending can influence how you handle financial conflicts.

How Parents Shape Financial Beliefs

1. Saving and Spending Habits
   Parents who demonstrated the importance of saving likely instilled a sense of financial responsibility. On the other hand, parents who frequently splurged or lived beyond their means may have taught a different lesson.
2. Communication About Money
   Open conversations about finances help children develop confidence and understanding. Families who avoided discussing money may leave children feeling unprepared or hesitant to engage with financial decisions.
3. Attitudes Toward Wealth
   How wealth was perceived—whether as something to be proud of, ashamed of, or feared—can strongly influence how you approach financial success or setbacks.
4. Role Modeling Responsibility
   Parents who involved their children in budgeting or financial decisions often prepared them for handling money in adulthood. Those who shielded their children from financial realities might have created a gap in financial literacy.

The Emotional Side of Money Lessons

1. Money and Self-Worth
   For some, money becomes tied to their sense of self-worth, particularly if parents equated success with financial achievement. This can lead to pressure or feelings of inadequacy.
2. Fear of Scarcity
   Children raised in financially unstable homes may develop a scarcity mindset, always fearing there won’t be enough. This can result in hoarding wealth or being overly frugal.
3. Generosity or Guilt
   In households where money was tied to generosity, children may learn to equate giving with self-worth. This can lead to over-giving or guilt around financial success.

Breaking Free From Negative Patterns

1. Identifying Your Money Story
   The first step to transforming your relationship with money is understanding the lessons you absorbed growing up. Reflect on your childhood and consider how those experiences shaped your current financial habits.
2. Challenging Limiting Beliefs
   If your upbringing instilled beliefs like “money is bad” or “I’ll never have enough,” question these ideas. Replace them with healthier, more empowering perspectives.
3. Building Financial Literacy
   If financial discussions weren’t part of your upbringing, take steps to educate yourself now. Knowledge is a powerful tool for overcoming past gaps.
4. Creating New Habits
   Establish habits that align with your current values and goals, even if they differ from what you learned as a child.

How Upbringing Affects Different Money Archetypes

Your childhood experiences can strongly influence your money archetype:

• Innocent: Often comes from a household where money wasn’t openly discussed.
• Victim: May reflect a history of financial struggle or feeling powerless.
• Warrior: Could arise from a home where success and discipline were prioritized.
• Magician: May result from learning to balance the spiritual and material aspects of life.

Real-Life Examples

I worked with a client who grew up in a household where money was scarce and arguments about finances were common. As an adult, they avoided budgeting because it triggered feelings of anxiety. By exploring their upbringing, they were able to separate their past experiences from their current reality and develop healthier financial habits.

Another client came from a wealthy family where money was seen as a status symbol. They struggled with guilt over their financial success, feeling they didn’t “deserve” it. Together, we worked to reframe their beliefs and align their wealth with their personal values.

Why Self-Awareness Is the Key to Change

Understanding how your upbringing influenced your relationship with money allows you to take control. Instead of repeating old patterns, you can create new habits that support your goals and values.

Conclusion: Transform Your Relationship With Money

Your past doesn’t have to define your future. By reflecting on your upbringing and understanding the roots of your financial behaviors, you can create a healthier, more empowered relationship with money.

If you’re ready to explore your money story and take control of your financial mindset, contact me today. Let’s create a path to financial and emotional well-being together.