Wealth Transfer and Family Conflicts

Estate planning is both a practical and emotional process. Often with children and inheritance, the idea of when and how to give our money away can make us feel uneasy. It evokes various feelings and highlights our relationship with wealth, with our children, and with ourselves.

Nonetheless, in today’s world, the complexities of estate planning require a consideration of many different aspects: how to divide up assets between children, give away control, minimize tax liabilities, set up trusts, and more. During this process, the emotional aspects – or the “soft issues” – are often pushed aside or overlooked. Over the years, families have encountered challenges arising from inter-generational wealth transfer. These issues stem from a lack of awareness regarding the non-financial aspects of wealth transfer. Which are essential to explore in order to facilitate a successful transfer of wealth between generations.

Minimizing Inter-generational Conflicts in Wealth Transfer: Key Questions and Considerations

Research shows that only 5% of wealth transfer failure is due to poor financial decisions and education and that 95% is due to soft issues: communication breakdown amongst family members, unprepared heirs, and lack of vision and purpose.

We have all witnessed situations, with detrimental effects, of families facing inter-generational conflicts due to unsuccessful wealth transfer. Disputes over wealth not only erode finances due to legal fees and asset freezing – causing some family members to live in reduced circumstances whilst litigation is ongoing – but also ruin family relationships and the family unit itself.

However, these conflicts can be minimized if families ask themselves important questions before deciding on the legal structure of wealth transfer, such as:

  • What is the best age to give our children their inheritance without negatively affecting them?
  • What will the practical and emotional consequences of our decisions be?
  • Do we involve our children in the estate planning process?
  • What is best for our children: to distribute equally or treat each of them differently based on their personality and life circumstances?

Addressing Contradictions and Maximizing Family Unity in Wealth Transfer


In situations where a trust has been established, beneficiaries are often expected or encouraged to participate in important family decisions. However, a common occurrence is the emergence of contradictory messages conveyed to the beneficiaries. The family sends a mixed signal by simultaneously encouraging their younger generation to participate in voting, giving, and asset disposition issues. While teaching them that as beneficiaries of a trust, they possess. Limited authority in determining the future of the family wealth. This can be destabilizing, making them feel powerless about their financial future and reliant on ‘hand-outs’ from the trustees.

In another situation, a technically ‘fair’ one, where the family decides to divide all assets to distribute it equally. Without conditions or consideration of the non-fiscal aspects. While it promotes ownership, the challenge is that some offspring may be more able to deal with this wealth than others. Those who are less able to manage their inheritance tend to lose it fast. Also, an equal division of assets does not encourage the next generation to work together. As such, the economic scale and doors to opportunity that a larger, closely allied family would have, are reduced.

Professionals have first-hand experience witnessing what successful and unsuccessful techniques are in action by their clients. Working with specialists to address these issues can provide seamless and holistic solutions to the problem of inter-generational conflict.

I first published this article on the Nexus, an organization dedicated to the next generation of family business or family office members whether they are working or not working in the business.

Useful advice and further information

We are here to better help you navigate through these troubling times with tips and practical tools for reducing stress around reminding and improving relationships.

Latest Posts

How Can Upbringing Affect Our Relationship With Money?

Our relationship with money doesn’t appear out of nowhere—it begins in childhood. The way we saw our parents handle money, the conversations (or lack of them) about finances, and the lessons we absorbed growing up all play a critical role in shaping our financial...

]