The Psychology of Relationships: Have a Need to Control Your Spouse?


A person who has existing inner feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, weakness, lack of confidence, or other difficult emotions, will exercise emotional or physical control over their spouse (usually subconsciously), in order to force things to go their way and according to their will. It is done to regain a sense of security and strength.

When things progress contrary to the expectations and needs of the “controlling spouse”, he/she may exploit different types of “power” to regain control and get their way; even if their actions are done against their partner’s wishes. It is helpful to understand that this process occurs mainly at the subconscious level.

No wonder that many couples claim “we no longer talk”.

Many couples prefer to remain silent, or to argue than to talk about what really bothers them. This causes an unhealthy buildup of non-inconsiderable issues, but if not communicated, with time they become larger and more significant. A distance is starting to form, which no one really understands how it has started, and how it can be bridged. Now the couple is in a “relationship crisis”, not knowing how to come out of it.

Latest Posts

Finance and wellbeing when dealing with the Coronavirus

Worried about family wellbeing or financial consequences because of the Coronavirus? With the continued spread of the Coronavirus putting our oldest and most vulnerable at risk and with more and more of the world’s economy being shut down because of the virus mental...

How can you help your children during Corona pandemic?

How can you help your children during Corona pandemic? During this time, it is important to remember that parents should implement schedules and that routines to be kept as much as possible. Although not a rigid one. Allow room for flexibility connectivity and fun....

How do you reduce stress during times of financial uncertainty?

How do you reduce stress during times of financial uncertainty? Many people feel concerned or experience anxiety due to Corona pandemic. Worrying about what will be, what if, what to do, how will they manage, and more…This is not surprising. The financial uncertainty...

Wealth Transfer and Family Conflicts

Estate planning is both a practical and emotional process. Often with children and inheritance, the idea of when and how to give our money away can make us feel uneasy. It evokes various feelings and highlights our relationship with money, with our children, and with...

CROSSING THE GENERATIONS – Communication Breakthrough

CROSSING THE GENERATIONS - Communication Breakthrough “Dr. Lami this has gotten way out of hand!” said Joel, the 3rd brother amongst the four brothers sitting in my office. “I cannot say anything to Max without him bringing up the past into our conversations and...

Preparing Children to Be Custodians of the Family Wealth

The past 18 months have been filled with speaking and presenting in various forums around the globe on the psychology of Money and Wealth. During this time, the topic that was of main interest with the attendees revolved around the subject of preparing our children to...