The Psychology of Relationships: Have a Need to Control Your Spouse?


A person who has existing inner feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, weakness, lack of confidence, or other difficult emotions, will exercise emotional or physical control over their spouse (usually subconsciously). In order to force things to go their way and according to their will. It is done to regain a sense of security and strength. [Source]

When things progress contrary to the expectations and needs of the “controlling spouse”. He/she may exploit different types of “power” to regain control and get their way. Even if their actions are done against their partner’s wishes. It is helpful to understand that this process occurs mainly at the subconscious level.

No wonder that many couples claim “we no longer talk”.

Many couples prefer to remain silent, or to argue than to talk about what really bothers them. This causes an unhealthy buildup of non-inconsiderable issues, but if not communicated, with time they become larger and more significant. A distance is starting to form, which no one really understands how it started, and how to bridge it. Now the couple is in a “relationship crisis”, not knowing how to come out of it.

Understanding the psychology of relationships and the need to control one’s spouse is crucial for fostering healthy and fulfilling partnerships. By recognizing and addressing the underlying issues driving the need for control, individuals can work towards building trust, respect, and open communication within their relationships. Embracing a collaborative and supportive approach allows for the development of strong and balanced connections, promoting personal growth and harmony in the journey of love and companionship.

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